Before heading out, we take the time to suit up Demon with Steel Chain Mail and Squall SMG
Forest Hamlet
(The words at the corner of the screen read "Forest farm". Screw consistency, eh?)
Boar walks up to a guy standing near a camp fire. The guy is as friendly as you'd expect. I'd be cranky too if my parents decide to give me a name like this.
Elk: Hey, pal! Get lost -- now.
Boar: What's wrong? (He's surprisingly nice for some reason)
Elk: Bro,I need help (The guy sure changes his tune fast). Urgently! Some jerks attacked us and took away everything I had. They also took my friend as hostage. I hardly managed to escape. Who knows what would have happened to me if I hadn't used my sledgehammer...
Elk: They are going to talk different (sic) now. They don't know there are two of us (plus 3 guys behind me). Will you help me bury the bastards? I will pay you.
Boar: Hmm, I could help out, for the right price, but remember, if you cheat me, I will bury you with the rest.
Elk: Forget about it. We've got a decent operation going on here and, we will definitely show our gratitude! I only hope Shaggy (!) is still alive. Follow me!
Then, long story short, our guys march in the farm (Elk's "operation" seems to refer to some sort of flour making business. They've got a mill here). We massacre everything in sight, wile Elk stay out of sight. So much for the help.
Pew pew pew and pew. This encounter is supposed to played with Boar and Sullen only. With four guys armed with metal armor and sub machine guns, the baddies drop like flies. I feel bad for these nameless dudes.
We gather outside the final house with the leader inside and make short work of him. The guy only has a leather armor!
With the one sided fight over, Elk takes Boar to the cell where Shaggy is kept. Boar heads inside to talk to the prisoner (Wait, why doesn't Elk come in first?)
Boar: Hey, Shaggy! Get out of the barn, I've got some business for you.
Shaggy: What do you need, morons, bastards, freaks?! I won't give in!
Boar: Hello! Open your eyes! Get out -- you're free!
Shaggy gets out of his cell.
Shaggy: Mom, take me away (wut?)... {looks around} There are only corpses around
Shaggy: Elk! Alive! I thought you kicked the bucket.
Elk: It's ok, this guy helped me free you. Let's show hom some gratitude.
Shaggy: Aha, I see. I see. Well, one good turn deserves another. {stares in your eyes} Take the key and go to the graveyard. It's not far from here. We have an old cache with clothe there, take what you like. You deserve it. {screws up his eyes cunningly}
Boar: The stuff has been hidden well, indeed. Good. it was nice to talk to civilized people.
After the ridiculously unsubtle hint of doublecrossing, the team makes their way to the graveyard, fully expecting trouble.
Immediately after we get near the chest at the graveyard, Elk shows up with some more guys.
Elk: Wait, wait, who is ransacking everyone's clothes here? (Note how Kruger is walking nonchalantly behind the dude with the red berret, and my guys have all taken off their metal armor for some reason)
Boar: Whoa! Fancy meeting you!
Elk: {smiles cunningly} I didn't want to drag you to your grave. But hey, you took care of that all by yourself... attaboy. Take him, boys!
Boar: I am going to screw your head off, you dumbass!
Umm, Boar... That sounds kinda gay, don't you think?
After the cutscene ends, we get rid of the assailants within seconds. And I never figured out what's the whole deal with Elk is. Are Shaggy and him part of the bandit gangs, laying traps to people travelling by, or something else. And where's Shaggy anyway? The guy probably took off after seeing we mowing down his pals. Oh well!
Old Road
The encounter opens with two robbers arguing over a broken down cart.
Robber #1: Dork, watch your way! Can't you see where you are driving your cart? You should watch where you're going!
Robber #2: Aha, keep talking. You'd better do it by yourself, freak!
Robber #1: You've gone too far, man. You think you're better than me? Or maybe than all of us? You are a fool and you stink like a corpse. Go pick up your stuff, on the double!
(Damn, look at that wrist!)
Robber #1's ability to speak more than 5 single sentences at a time clearly means that he has the point. Robber #2 caves.
Robber #2: I understand clearly. I will fix everything now. Sorry, I just got too excited!
Putting a stop to this comedy routine, Boar steps in.
Robber #2: What? Who the hell are you?! Get out of here or I will break your bones!
Robber #1: Well, it's pretty obvious! Look at his face, imperial landing forces for sure... he-he. Now get lost, you freak!
Boar: I didn't want to do this. Well now you're going to feel the pain!
I just noticed now. Sullen, Kruger and Demon are standing a little further back, enjoying the scenery (look at the bare feet at the top of the image).
They probably didn't feel anything. It was over in a split second.
Here's the quest list. TL;DR: Kill everyone.
For a bit of variety, I let the team stay hidden and creep near the first group of baddies near the wagon. They probably just ambushed a bunch of "innocent" traders and are planning to move the spoils away.
Kruger's first shot blows the guy's head right off. The sight startles the rest of the group.They decide to rush us instead of running away. All die before getting into range.
With that done, we creep up near the wagon to snipe the next group.
And... Done. First quest completed. Reclaim the cart (which we have no use for)
This guy here carries a First Aid Kit. In these early encounters, most of the bad guys either use melee weapons or single-shot firearms. That explains why this guy carries half a dozen rifles, they are all single-shot.
As we move on to the group near the final location, this guy with shorts and a red cap finally acts smart ...
He runs off to call reinforcement.
As he returns with his buddies, Kruger picks them off one by one. I let him fire at will, without pausing and controlling. Shorts And Red Cap gets critically shot in the leg
The ones who get close enough get gunned down by Boar, Sullen and Demon.
Shorts And Red Cap gets critically shot in the leg earlier, so he has to limp to us. As a result, he is the last to die.
We take the time to loot the chests and bodies, then get back to the market and sell off the loot. We've broken the 1 million cash mark. Hurrah!
Slave trader's den
So, for this encounter, instead of killing everything that moves, our heroes will save innocent people from injustice by, well, killing
almost everything that moves.
We begin with two slavers tormenting a black slave named Nuf-Nuf
Jackal (!): Go back in your cage, quickly, or you'll be punished, you stupid punk!
Nuf-Nuf: I can't be kept in a cell. It's too narrow. I am free! You must let me go. (It's kind of funny to put it that way. The whole planet is a prison, remember?)
Jackal: Listen to this idiot! Next thing he'll be telling us about the Geneva convention!
Tanata: Why are you talking to him? If it doesn't sink in through his ugly head - it'll sink in through his ass. {gives an angry smile}
Um... I don't think I want to know what he means by this.
The verbal harrassment over. The slavers begin to get physical.
Jackal: That's it, moron. I've lost my patience.(Kicks the slave)
Nuf-Nuf calmly switches to prone stance. Probably because he sees Boar approaching and wisely anticipates a firefight. OR that's the substitute for the "collapsing in pain" animation.
Jackal: Oh! Reinforcements for the cell dwellers have arrived! Come here, man. Go slow and keep your hands where I can see them!
As usual, the other guys hangs back a few dozen steps, perhaps to give Boar some privacy (?).
Boar: Whoa! Talking monkeys!
This witty retort seems to take the slavers by surprise. Unable to find any good comback, they draw their weapons.
Jackal: Well, it looks like the conversation is over! Whack the bastard!
The quest here is "Teach the slavers a lesson." I wonder what lesson can be learned by dying. Also, Nuf-Nuf here is related to the quest "Help Naf-Naf." Umm, what?
The slaver's friendly greeting is met with several bullets to the face.
Nuf-Nuf greatly appreciates the help, which is nice for once.
Nuf-Nuf: Thanks, man! You killed them all very cool!
Nuf-Nuf:The wicked people caught two more of us. They need your help badly. Help us, courageous warrior.
Boar: It'll take some luck. I will try to solver the problem though, meanwhile you go and lay low.
With one slave saved (is he Nuf-Nuf or Naf-Naf again?), our heroes prepare to rescue his brothers.
But before that, Boar takes a few seconds to explore the surroundings, and finds this incredibly conspicous chest.
It contains food, medkits and a brand new Pencil Shotgun. These would have been very useful if we'd chosen to do the encounters in proper orders. Now they're only good for selling.
Scrolling over the map, I see the second brother, Nif-Nif.
And the third one, Naf-Naf, who's related to the quest "Help Nuf-Nuf". Is it just me or did they mess up the names in the quest?
As a side note, when I explored the original Russian game dialogue, I find out that the three brothers are named Martin, Luther and King. That got censored out, messily, as you can see.
Anyway, in a hurry to get this over with, our guys march in, provoke the slavers and proceed to kill them.
There wasn't much resistance.
Kruger snipes (duh).
Man, that's gotta be one of the worst ways to express your sadness ever.
As we near the final brother's cage, this guy runs off to call his buddies.
Ah, a grenade! Spread out, cadets!
After we dropped a few dozen guys or so, we get to the slavers' leader. He rushes in melee range for some reason. We keep pelting him with critical hits, so he keeps falling down after getting up.
As the brothers celebrate their freedom, I figure out that I can press Alt to see the dropped items' names during cutscenes.
Now, for the loots. Most are still flintlock pistols and rifles, with a couple of shotguns. Mission accomplished!
Encounter 4: Dangerous Canyon
Quest: Sweep (not the kind of sweepping with a broom) the mountain area. Kill hostiles animal. Loot the dead bodies (optional).
The Boars are slow and drop Meat when killed.
The Phalanxes are creepy spider-like creatures. They can run pretty fast. I think they can poison too, but I'm not sure.
The Brown Porcupine are giants porcupines that are brown (duh). They can curl up and roll. Have a somewhat high critical rates. And with that, we are done. Most (I think all) animal encounters in Planet Alcatraz are like this. Kill everything that even looks at you funny.
